Middle and High School Transitions: Bullying

What You Need to Know

Bullying is physical, verbal and/or emotional abuse, sexual harassment in person or online. In addition to physical abuse, bullies threaten, intimidate, tease, spread rumors and eliminate people from groups. Bullies frequently torment their victims such that they feel helpless, defenseless and are often in real physical and emotional pain. According to recent studies:

• One out of every four students is bullied.
• 30% of students in sixth through tenth grades have admitted to being involved in bullying as a bully, victim, or both.
• Most bullying happens on school grounds, not at home or on the way to school, although online cyber bullying is a new concern.
• Every seven minutes, a child is bullied. 85% of the time, peers are present and nobody intervenes.

Signs your child is being bullied can include:

• Clothes, books or possessions are ripped, excessively dirty, damaged or missing.
• Unexplained cuts, bruises or scratches.
• A lack of friends or sense of belonging to any groups at school.
• Frequent headaches, stomach aches or other physical complaints.
• Suffering from bad dreams or bad sleep patterns.
• High anxiety and/or low self-esteem.

Signs your child is a bully can include these tendencies:

• Dominant personalities with quick tempers.
• Easily frustrated, even at the simplest of tasks.
• Lack of empathy for others.
• Difficulty in following rules.
• Seems to enjoy violence.
• Has a high sense of self-esteem.
• Hangs out with other bullies or peers who enjoy violence.

What Parents Can Do

First and foremost, talk with your teens in ways that encourage the sharing of information. Let them know that you are concerned and want to help, but most of all let them know it is not their fault if they are being bullied. Never approve of retaliation, which often escalates the problem. Schools and homes must establish clear rules about bullying behaviors that will not be tolerated. Consequences must be outlined and enforced. If your child is being bullied, talk with administrators and teachers to discuss your concerns and develop a plan of action. You should expect the bullying to stop. Talk with your teens about how to stand up for others who are being bullied. Help them to understand that getting involved and seeking help is not “tattling” but an important solution to the problem. Make sure your home is a safe haven.

Resources: National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism, www.niaaa.nih.gov Journal of Adolescent Health: A Review of Psychological Risk Factors, www.adolescenthealth.org Center for Substance Abuse Prevention, http://prevention.samhsa.gov/

© CWK Network, Inc.